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October 01, 2009

Starting Over ...

in a new place, a new town, new credentials and the possibility of the Love of a Lifetime - doesn't seem all that bad. but to a self professed lonely agoraphobic gypsy soul; it is the biggest thing I have ever done by myself. years ago I moved a lot and even as I got older and had kids, I still moved more than I ever allowed myself to become settled - but then, i did it with tagalongs of some flavor. now, it is just me! yes, there is the promise of Love that spans greater than i could ever imagine - but letting go of the only stability that I have had a hold of in the last 8 months hurts pieces inside me that i didnt even know existed. it is a struggle of good vs evil, God vs everything but God, God vs myself, and Love vs impatience.

i know the best idea is to be honest and say my true piece but that could mean that i might lose my friend forever. i like my friend. there are days i even love him.

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